stardustcboy's Diaryland Diary

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Welcome Lifestylers!

Welcome Fellow Lifestylers!

You obviously have clicked your way here via our online profile. This is Brian, the husband, the �Fishy�, the male counterpart. You have stepped into the digital representation of my mind. A collection of conscious/subconscious thoughts transferred to a virtual medium. Feel free to click on over to JeLLy�s diary if you�d like to know more about her.

For starters, I invite you to take a look around. The navigation is fairly simple and straightforward. First, I�d appreciate it if you could sign my guestbook. I can track who visits my diary, and oftentimes I see that someone has entered via the link in the �Lounge� I just never know who! So please, take the time to leave a hello and your name/s as well as your screen name. I do realize that many of us desire a certain amount of anonymity, so if you really must keep your identity a secret (because you�re a super-hero or FBI agent or something) then I completely understand. Otherwise, I�d love to know ya� and share my thoughts with you.

So, I figure now that you�re here; I might as well share a little about my experiences, fantasies and interests with you. You can always get the basics in a nutshell if you don�t have the time.

Basically, Jelly and I are married. We were unofficially married at Burning Man on September 2nd 2004. We�ll be officially married in May of 2005. We�ve known each other for 3 years and met online through some random Canadian website.
Before JeLLy, I was a swingin� single bi-guy. If you want to read more of those adventures and some of my thoughts concerning the lifestyle then, look here, here, and here. The latter link goes back to an old weblog of mine circa 1999-2000-ish. It�s sort of a prehistory before JeLLy and I met, and even a bit during and after. My life changed when I met her, and it changed even more so when I fell in love with her. Hence, this diary chronicles my life after her, and our new life together overall. I had broken up with my long-time girlfriend at the time because I had finally come out on my bisexuality. We had been together for almost four years, and it was coming down to marriage. I was 23 at the time. Alas, this little piece of my life was hard, if not impossible, for her to swallow; and it also made me realize that there must be some way I could live and love as WHO I AM and not compromise my relationship with another human being or moreover, compromise MYSELF. Thus the great adventure began. I searched online, visiting various gay and lesbian websites, asking questions and seeking to find out what being �bi� meant, and overall, what it meant to ME and how it would change the way I live.
I dated a couple in Pasadena for a year and a half, dated single men off and on, dated single women off and on, and even flew to New York to stay with an older couple for a time. All of this eventually helped me to define my new life, and my new lifestyle. I can say with definite certainty that I know WHAT bisexual means to ME, and HOW being bisexual affects the WAY that I live my life, and furthermore the way that I love.

Enter JeLLy�she was the first woman I had dated that I was completely, point-blank honest about who and what I was, and where I had been and where I was going. This opened up HUGE vistas of communication between us, and we found that we had more in common than we had originally thought (which is A LOT).

Now my life centers on her and us. She is the boss when it comes to lifestyle activity, what she says goes. She makes final call on all prospective applicants, and if you�re not her cup of tea, you probably won�t hear from us again.

So far, JeLLy and I have a limited amount of swinging experience together. I�m letting her take this at her own pace. She�s very curious about women, has had an experience prior, and is really looking forward to new/more experiences with the right woman and couple. If you�d like to read more about some of our adventures as a swinging couple, take a look here, here, and here.

Overall, JeLLy and I have been to a sex club three times, one private sex party at a hotel, and another smaller and intimate gathering of three different couples at a house party. We have yet to completely hook up with a couple one-on-one. There are several reasons for this. I�d say that we are primarily a soft-swap couple. Both of us feel comfortable playing with persons of the opposite sex in an oral and touching way, but when it comes to intercourse and penetration we are still a bit �gun shy�. I think that we need a certain amount of time to warm up to those we decide to fuck, so a full swap situation isn�t out of the question. We require a certain amount of trust in order to be comfortable enough to share ourselves in that way with others. JeLLy at this point is more excited about women and being with women than men, and moreover, is really looking forward to seeing me with another man. I myself am pretty easy when it comes down to what types of play will occur. Like I said, it is all up to my lovely wife to decide where and how far we go. I have no problems seeing her with another man, and actually would enjoy pleasing her WITH another man. Again, I�m easy. ;-P

I think that overall we have very little expectation of the people we meet. When we go out with a couple, sex is not the first thing on our minds, it�s friendship. I know that there are a lot of couples out there who aren�t in it for full-on friendships, and that�s just fine by us, but again it goes back to issues of trust. If we KNOW you as friends, we can TRUST you as friends; and thereby be able to really get down and nasty. It�s that simple.

So that leads me to the part where I define what sorts of play we really dig. So far, I�d say we still get a lot of enjoyment out of voyeurism/exhibitionism. We LOVE to watch, and moreover, we enjoy putting on a good show for people. Second, we�ve had a lot of good times just touching, massaging, and orally satisfying other people men or women. Since we�re both bisexual it tends to be a really fun experience because no one is left out. This extends to any sexual relations that may develop between us and others�males, females, and couples. We prefer that everyone can be comfortable touching, kissing, and being touched regardless of what gender may be doing it at the time. In the end, we aren�t all that particular about dating and playing with bi-straight couples; it�s just that in our experience a certain amount of expectation develops on the side of the male, and we�ve been burned when the male portion of a bi-straight couple gets upset because he can�t play with my wife. Whereas I have no problem not playing with anyone as long as I can play with my wife.

So that pretty much sums it up. We�re two very creative people, and I myself have a very rich fantasy life that I live in (being an artist). We aren�t wealthy people with lots of nice things or material goods; we�re fairly simple and enjoy the simple things in life. With us you get what you see and see what you get. There are no pretenses here�and moreover; there are no judgments, criticisms, or negativity�just good friends and good people.

If you�ve taken the time to read this far, and if you�ve taken the time to read through some of the other entries and the rest of this diary then you probably should try and get a hold of us! Again, be sure to sign my guestbook and say hello, and if not that, then feel free to write us on the �Lounge� and say hello. We�re revamping our profile a bit to make it more �interactive� and allow more couples to find us. It�ll be very fun�until then have fun, be safe, and take care!

Kisses and hugs�
~Brian, aka Stardustcboy, aka Fishy

7:37 p.m. - 2004-11-04

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