stardustcboy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ...Who the HELL is Lady Ivy?... okay, so i can't quite tell if i'm INFURIATED over this comment...or just amused...maybe both? a little back-story...i'm reading ms. swingerdiary and her latest installment about a particularly tasty lil morsel that she's interested in. she asks for comments/advice/etc. so being the helpful lil boy i am, i jump in and write... i'd say cocktails. it's always a good opener. invite her out for a few cocktails, just the two of you, and see where it goes. such libations are sure to loosen the tongue...i'm reading you. ~B-) now i'm not saying that i'm the GURU of relationships or women or ANYTHING for that matter, but i figure if you want to get to know someone, ANYONE, you can never go wrong with meeting for a few drinks. it's a neutral location, it's public, and most importantly there's a certain amount of alchohol available. alchohol is known to lower inhibition and make people more relaxed and talkative. am i wrong? i mean, you could replace "cocktails" with "coffee" if you want. the point was, just set up a meeting...you know...to hang out and chat, play the "get-to-know" game. SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE OF WORK. so anyway, following up my lil note was this...which i will quote here for your viewing pleasure... Lady Ivy - 2004-10-25 16:39:14 okay, i'd say that for the most part, the advice given by Lady Ivy is pretty sound. she's given a good angle of attack. no problem there. what i DO have a problem with is how she begins, AND how she ends. first off, and yes i may be a bit prideful here, she immediately goes on the attack against the "typical male", i.e. - me, your dear narrator. then she wraps it all up with her "credentials", i.e. - she's a lesbian. this makes me really mad. in fact, it makes me want to go find her and challenge her to a full on wrestlin' match. mano y mano! just because i'm a "boy" in no way discredits my advice, why so angry ms. ivy? you not like boys? that's fine with me baby, most of the time i don't like 'em either, but do you have to take your lesbian aggression out on me? damn. i'm just givin' advice man, i don't need to be fuckin' disregarded and condescended like i'm a fuckin' idiot. i got feelings too lady, just because i don't have the oh-so-expert-lesbian-opinion/experience don't make me any less valid than your ass. not only that, but i've been trying to get the ladies since i was a wee little lad...that makes it a total of about...ooooh...28 years experience in trying to woo, date, fuck, and interact with the female species. what's the number for you missy? huh? when did YOU come out of the closet and ACTIVELY start dating, wooing, fucking and interacting with females? i betcha' AT THE MOST you're right on par with me. where the fuck are you coming from? just cuz you're a lesbian doesn't make you some automatic fucking expert in the female mind/psychology. sure, i'd be willing to say you have a definite ADVANTAGE over your average male counter-parts; but that's just it... I AM NOT YOUR AVERAGE MALE COUNTERPART BITCH! booyah! i am much, much, MUCH more...my experiences are of great breadth and width...spanning across gender, across borders, across the fuckin' globe. i'm not goin' around rubbin' peoples faces in it and makin' people feel dumb. nope. here's what I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IF I WAS LADY IVY... drinks may be a good start, or perhaps some other neutral place. overall though i suggest playing dumb. Tell her you have been thinking about getting into body piercing, but you aren't sure. It sounds kinda scary, and you wouldn't know where to start, or who to go to. If she is pierced, that will open her up. Now as with most women this is a complex thing. Go here: http://showcase.ca/series/ 3rd show down on the right, read up on it. The name of the show is KinK. It's 100% Canadian, and 100% uncensored. In there they show ppl being pierced, suspensions, and bdsm. See where I am going? Piercing brings up the shows piercing scenes, that evolves into alternative lifestyles, which opens doors. When you mention things from the show, and there is a full episode guide you can quote from, watch her face. If there is a slight hint of anything negative then she is a vanilla girl. But if she starts to chat openly about things, you can mention that you always wondered what those things would be like, and eventually can work in a curiosity about other women. Once everything is out in the open you can be open, but getting it all out is tricky. just be patient and work towards it slowly, don't jump out at her, let her open up and see where it goes. i hope that helps! good luck! see how nice that sounds? and it doesn't make her sound like some sort of pompous, arrogant and pretentious cunt-bag. why do people always gotta' be on the attack? don't be angry at me cuz you hate men and are a lesbo. can't we all just get along? she makes some crazy snap judgement on my ass, classifies me as the "typical male"..."shakes head" in dissappointment and disapproval (to really make a point of her condescention)...gives her advice (which again, is great sound advice)...then finishes with ANOTHER jab about going home with "dick in hand"...and finally lists her omnipotent lesbian credentials. well i don't consider myself a "typical male"...i don't consider my advice of a few cocktails as "bad advice"...AND I CERTAINLY NEVER HAVE GONE HOME WITH MY DICK IN MY HAND. i can say for a fact that i've gone home with A DICK in my hand...but certainly it wasn't my own! and moreover, i can safely say that when i wasn't going home with a dick in my hand, i was DEFINITELY going home with a lady...or two. so don't by any stretch of the imagination DARE to group me in with ANY "typical males". i KNOW typical males...some of them are my friends...and yes, they can be idiots. but who do those "typical males" go to for advice on the female species? ME. shit, even my FEMALE friends come to me for advice on the ladies. i'm a wealth of advice, compassion and understanding and PEOPLE IN GENERAL FEEL COMFORTABLE COMING TO ME FOR IT...regardless of sex, orientation, religious or political affiliation, etc. so suck on that one LADY IVY. go make your femi-nazi-lesbo-facist-man-hating-bigoted-narrow-minded generalizations elsewhere. if you actually are reading this, notice the generalizations i just made on you. how does that feel, hm? yeah, i thought so. man people are fucking retarded sometimes. anything to make them feel greater, eh? it's amazing the levels that people will go to raise their levels above people. you'd think if they'd faced adversity and such they'd be a lot more understanding and nice...but it just goes to show ya...people are assholes about 95% of the time regardless of their experiences. what's even more amazing is that people who were picked on, ostracized, oppressed, discriminated against are always the first to turn around and do THE VERY SAME THING to someone else OR those that did it to them. it's a never-ending vicious cycle of human bullshit and retardation. "oh, you made me hurt so i'm gonna' make YOU pay NOW! TAKE THAT!! HAHAHA! YOU! you're JUST LIKE all THOSE people who picked on me! you're a TYPICAL MALE!! TAKE THAT!!" feck off ya twat. i hope you feel vindicated. sheesh. and i was just an outside objector, a total innocent bystander...breezin' on in in my StarDust sort of way. take it or leave it i say, but go fuck yourself if you're gonna' be a dick about it. you don't know the half of it baby, so quite tryin' to put me in a fuckin' box. i won't even give the satisfaction of a response on the comments thread. i know she's waiting for it. alas, she'll have to come in here and get it. then maybe she'll read through some of my other entries and realize... i've got a fuckin' cock all right, i'm fuckin' sorry. god hates me and cursed me with this HORRID appendage. we got more in common than you know Lady Ivy. i dig your style...besides the attack dog part...but overall i think we should totally chill and have a beer or somethin'. we can talk politic and all that fun stuff, you know, shoot the shit. don't hate me for my penis, i got a heart and soul too! just like you. in that way we are sexless. *sigh* eh, you'll never get it. why the fuck do i try? licksucklicksuckfuck! 4:07 p.m. - 2004-10-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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