stardustcboy's Diaryland Diary

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...Celebrity Interviews Episode I...

hello out there everyone! i hope life is going well in your lil corners of the world.

so i've decided to begin doing some celebrity interviews. you may not know this, but your dear narrator has some serious connections. so without further ado, i have a very special guest today, someone who took time out of their very VERY busy schedule to answer a few questions.

ladies and gentlemen, i'd like you all to give a big warm welcome to the Supreme Being!

*applause*

STaRDuSTcBoY: thank you so much for coming out...um...what DO you like to be called anyway? God? Allah? Yahweh?

SUPREME BEING: *chuckles* you can call me Chris.

STaRDuSTcBoY: great! so, Chris, as you know, my readers have a TON of questions to ask you. now i know that you are quite busy running the universe and all, so i've decided to cut the list down to 7 major questions.

CHRIS: great, go ahead.

STaRDuSTcBoY: well, i think the first question that comes to all of our minds is, why the change in policy? i mean, before the fall of the roman empire, your wrath was merciless. plagues, rains of fire, floods, cities turned to salt and other such glorious displays of your divine punishment. but modernly, no such acts exist. i mean, take west hollywood for example, it's riddled with homosexuals, yet it still stands. sodom and gamora weren't so lucky. tell us, why the change?

CHRIS: well, before i was pretty hot-headed. people can be so frustrating sometimes. but after i had my son, i REALLY mellowed out. nothing teaches you more about patience, love and tolerance more than having a child of your own, ya know?

STaRDuSTcBoY: very true, very true. so you're saying your son, Jesus Christ, was a great influence in your life as a supreme being?

CHRIS: oh yes, defintily, more than anything else i have ever done.

STaRDuSTcBoY: that sort of leads me to my next question. Jesus, son of God, changed the world as we know it and even to this day has had a VERY large impact on the lives of all mankind. tell us, was he really the son of the divine Creator of All, or merely a really cool guy with lots of great ideals?

CHRIS: well, he was my son, i'm very proud of him. but in the end all of you are my children. but jesus, he grew up in a world full of adversity, hatred, violence, oppression, and ignorance; but i think he lived a great example. he really pulled through and stood up for what he believed in.

STaRDuSTcBoY: which is you, Chris, Creator of the Universe?

CHRIS: no, no. i taught him to have faith in mankind. to see the good in even the most foulest of people, and to have faith that people can always make the world a better place for themselves and each other if they learn to unite in the name of love and friendship.

STaRDuSTcBoY: interesting. so, i'm sure you're familiar with the debate of creationism vs. evolution. those on one side believe that all life on earth, and earth itself, took over 1100 billion years to form and become what it is today. those on the other side adhere rigidly to the scripture and believe that it took merely 7 days. i think i have a question that may solve this debate once and for all.

CHRIS: okay.

STaRDuSTcBoY: do you go off of a "solar calendar" or are you on some other system of time? in other words, how long is a day to Chris?

CHRIS: *phew* sometimes the days just fly by, and sometimes they seem to just stretch out forever. but overall i'd say an average day for me is about 68.7 million of your years...mmm...give or take a million.

STaRDuSTcBoY: well there you have it. Chris, another question i think we're all dying to ask is - Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Mormons, etc. - who's got it right?

CHRIS: *laughs* none of them...well...maybe the buddhists, i'd say they're the closest.

STaRDuSTcBoY: really? why do you say that?

CHRIS: faith and existence isn't about right and wrong, good and evil. it's about choice and consequence...both of which are yours and yours alone to deal with and learn from. buddhists are the closest to that idealogy, they are allowed to find it on their own. not spoon-fed from some guy on a pulpit. overall though, everyone has a long way to go.

STaRDuSTcBoY: wow. what about the afterlife? heaven? hell? what's the best "in" to get to heaven?

CHRIS: *laughs* you know, i've always thought the idea of an afterlife was somewhat novel...even thought about making one...but the mechanics are just to inefficient.

STaRDuSTcBoY: really?

CHIRS: oh of course! there's only so much energy in the universe at one time. since i can't really destroy it, i've got to move it around somewhere. if i just kept putting people into some sort of afterlife all the time, then the amount of energy in the universe would wane and then what? it's a juggling act.

STaRDuSTcBoY: all right then. just a couple more questions and we can let you get back to your juggling.

CHRIS: *laughs* clever.

STaRDuSTcBoY: i try. so, Chris, tell us, if there is no heaven or hell per se, then what about Satan? is Satan really, as some would say, a "personal, malevolent being who acts as tempter and accuser?"

CHRIS: good question. first off, let me say this - Satan has a purpose. Satan didn't just pop up out of nowhere. i think a lot of times people forget where Satan came from. it was rough times, we just started out, and we disagreed on some fundamental principles. this by no means makes me right and Satan wrong. we just do things a bit differently. so the answer to your question is, no, it still boils down to personal choice.

STaRDuSTcBoY: i see. well, we're almost out of time so i'll wrap it all up with the one question you probably get all the time. why are we here?

CHRIS: ha, if i had a dime.... it really is simple, because you are.

STaRDuSTcBoY: what?

CHRIS: because you are.

STaRDuSTcBoY: we're here because we are?

CHRIS: i must be going.

STaRDuSTcBoY: very well, thank you so much Chris for coming in today and talking to us. we're very greatful, and keep up the good work!

CHRIS: no problem, it's been fun. see you later.

***

well, there you have it ladies and gentlement. Chris, the Supreme Being. let's be thankful with a round of applause.

*applause*

i hope you all enjoyed today's celebrity interview and in the least found it enlightening. stay tuned for the next celebrity interview. take care out there cyber-friends. until next time...

because you are!

xoxo

~B-)

1:03 p.m. - 2004-04-27

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