stardustcboy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ...Adrift on the seas of financial ruin... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGH!!! rent is DUE!! and there is no financial hope for your dear narrator. not only do i not have the money to make rent, but i just simply do not have ANY money whatsoever. okay, okay...i have $83.63 to my name... LITERALLY! no shitting. i have absolutely NO assets at all. no savings account, no checking account, no credit cards, no fortunes left to me from long lost relatives...no, no, no...on the contrary. from the depths of my financial pit, all i can see is the white snowy peaks of a mountain of debt. ah me. i'm falling, fast, and all there is at the bottom is hard, spikey rocks to break said fall. i suppose i could send a plea to my landlord, beg him to have mercy on my soul, plead with him to let me slip a week or so on my payment. tell him my situation, point to my "good-tenant" record for the past 5 years and hope that he feels a certain amount of pity in his cold, frozen heart. but what i'm really, really, really concerned with is getting a job. SOME JOB...at this point i don't give a fuck WHAT. i just need cash...cold...hard...CA$$$$H!!! i met with my recruiter last friday and gave him my reel so that he could start pimpin' me out to local game developers. i've burned a few extra copies for myself so that i can send them out to various companies on my own as well. i've sent resumes to different places already. but the payin' gig in that industry is still weeks in the making which is no help to my immediate rent sitch. my parents' hands are tied, i don't think they have the money to help right now so that's not any sort of option at this point. okay...okay...deep breaths... rent isn't OFFICIALLY due until the 3rd...the late charge isn't added until the 6th...and the "3days to pay or quit" notice isn't served until the following day... so the 10th. my unemployment check will be in on the 8th maybe...i think it's only $370...but that's a start... if i lose my place it's gonna' be one helluva pain. firstly, there's the whole "finding a place for my shit thing". then there's the whole "getting my shit to the place to store it thing". and finally, the "what the fuck do i do without a home?" thing. all of the above dilemma's require a certain amount of money to solve and i'm sure it's greater than $83.63 fuck my old job...black ops entertainment...is still looking for animators. i'm thinkin' on just goin' back to them. hurts my pride a bit since i walked on them all hoity-toity and all...but perhaps that what this is all about. perhaps the cosmos is serving me up a nice hot plate of humility? perhaps it was pride that got me in this spot in the first place? i keep wondering... either way the job is there, and i'd bet that they would hire me back with better pay and everything...hell...they might even help straighten out all this financial bullshit a bit. but... aaaargh! i don't want to feel all obligated to them afterward. i don't want to end up there and feel like i need to stick around...but... AAAAAARRRRRGH!!! I NEED MONEY! *biting nails...pulling hair* shit fuck shit fuck i should just do it... "on the night of the fight you might feel a little sting. that's PRIDE fuckin' witchu'..." to B-O-E (black ops entertainment) or not to B-O-E...that is the question...whether tis nobler in the mind...blah, blah, blah...suck it. there is now a war going on in my head over this whole black ops thing. one part of me keeps thinking "the money...oh the money..." the other part keeps thinking "pussy, that's like going back to an ex-girlfriend you broke up with to 'see what's out there' simply because when you were 'seeing what's out there' you weren't gettin' SHIT! goddamn pussy!" *punches evil alter ego in the face* i want to let this stew a bit, but i don't have time. i either pick up the phone now and make the call...or i don't and continue on hoping for some other job that may or may not come for another X number of weeks. do i have that kind of time? $83.63 isn't going to last much longer... ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ okay okay okay OKAY! i'll fuckin' do it. *swallows pride >GuLp<* yeeuck! pride tastes a lot like horses ass. *sigh* i suppose i could have it a lot worse. and as i've said before...i got to see the sunrise this morning so it ain't half bad...and most likely...i'll see it rise again tomorrow. here goes nothin'...keep your fingers crossed for your dear narrator lil cyber-babies until next time... be good! ~B-) 2:57 p.m. - 2003-04-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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